Homemade Soft Pretzels

 When I was a goofy little kid, my sisters and I used to beg for frozen soft pretzels. Or, I think we did, because every time I pass them in the freezer section of the grocery store I think 'I want! You can't have! I want! You can't have!'. 
Yes, sometimes we did slyly convince our parents to let us gobble some up. They were so satisfying and easy to heat up for a quick snack. It was such fun. Don't they remind you of a festival, theme park or other outdoor mildly summery gathering? They make me happy. Little bit of mustard, lots of napkins and a good sprinkling of salt and I'm in heaven. I love soft pretzels, but I had no idea how much I loved them until I had a fresh one at a farmers market a few years ago. Ever since then, those frozen ones haven't been on my mind at all. They don't tempt me the way they used to, not in the slightest. Nope. Not at all. (Am I convincing you?)

foamy yeast mixture

Then, last year, I found a recipe for them online and after reading through it, I decided that I had what it takes to make my very own soft pretzels from scratch. That first recipe was good, but it left me with an odd stomach ache and the pretzels weren't great the next day. I've been searching for a replacement ever since, and I have found it. I'm done searching. Hold off the hounds, here's the winner.

boiling- aren't those strange little bubbles?

If you are going to a super bowl party, or other festivities where major snacks are involved, I suggest you rock everyone's socks by making a batch of these. Seriously, everyone will think you are some sort of unicorn herding opera singer- that's how amazing they are! Don't tell me you wouldn't be impressed by that, or think it was unbelievable- because that is exactly what people will think when you bring these bad boys over! They won't believe you (hence the unicorns) and they will be amazed (hence the opera singing). My thinking totally makes sense now, doesn't it? Whip up a little cheese dip and you will have an absolute show stopper.

this is after their boil bath and before they were baked

Let me just mention this: These are way easy. Don't be fooled by the boiling step, it's easy peasy.

If you can mix some things, let them sit, kind of oddly fold things (or make pretzel sticks! Or pretzel bites! or what else? I'm dying to find other ways to use this recipe- I made pretzel rolls! Great for sandwiches or burgers!), toss said oddly folded things into boiling water for 30 seconds, take them out and bake them- then you are set. It's just that easy. I feel like I'm selling some cleaning product, but I don't know how else to say it- make. these. now. or at least soon. Then, thank me. Or thank Alton Brown, it is his fault after all.

Soft Pretzels
from Alton Brown 

ingredients

1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 package active dry yeast
22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
Vegetable oil, for pan
10 cups water
2/3 cup baking soda
1 large egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon water
Pretzel salt (optional)

Mix the water, sugar and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer, if you have one, and sprinkle the yeast on top. Let it sit for a bit, about 5 minutes, until it begins to foam. Then add the flour and butter and using the dough hook, mix it slowly until combined. (If you don't have stand mixer, no worries, mix it by hand! Work it!) Ramp it up to medium speed until the dough gets smooth and forms a ball- it should not be sticking to the sides of the bowl- about 4-5 minutes. Take the dough out and quickly clean the bowl, spray it with vegetable oil and return the dough to the bowl. Cover it with plastic wrap and put it in a warm place for about 50 minutes or until it has doubled in size. 

Now, preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Line two sheet pans with parchment paper and a little vegetable oil.

Put the water and the baking soda in a large saucepan and bring it to a boil. While you wait for this, start working with the dough on an oiled surface. Divide it into 8 equal pieces for large pretzels, 16 for mini pretzels. Make a U-shape with the dough, then cross over each end to connect with the opposite side. Or make pretzel sticks, or rolls, or bites. Whatever you please! Just adjust baking time if you do. 

Put the pretzels one by one into the boiling water for about 30 seconds each. Remove them using a slotted spoon or spatula and place them on the prepared sheet pans. Brush them with the egg yolk/water mixture and sprinkle with salt if you wish. Bake them until they are a dark brown color, about 12-14 minutes. Let cool for a few minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

-m